The power of vulnerability

Greetings,

Photo by KirstenMarie on Unsplash

It is easy to travel through the world guarded, with walls up to protect your peace. Protecting one’s peace is absolutely critical in this global village we exist in but, increasingly, I am realising that vulnerability also has its place. As poet Saul Williams has said, “vulnerability is power.” In one of his books, he writes, to paraphrase, that the rapper hides his vulnerability with bravado while the poet’s vulnerability is front and centre.

I have been thinking about vulnerability a great deal lately, and these lines, also from Saul Williams, “They say that I am a poet, I wonder what they would say if they saw me from the inside, I bottle emotions and place them into the sea for others to unbottle on distant shores, I am unsure as to whether they ever reach and, for that matter, as to whether I ever get my point across of my love.”

When I was a poet, writing poetry served as an outlet, a way of tackling my emotions - and vulnerability - head on, even if the others who ‘unbottled’ them didn’t always get the point. We interpret on the basis of our own experiences, our unique context, and I learned, when I used to perform, that as long as the listener/reader was gaining something from my experience, it is alright.

I haven’t written poetry regularly in over a decade and when I sit down to try and write poems today, I realise that, what makes it hard to do so, is that my vulnerability is cocooned within thick walls. Because of this, the words have no soul, no truth.

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One of my favourite poems is by Amiri Baraka, Preface To A Twenty Volume Suicide Note, also the title to his first poetry collection.

for Kellie Jones, born 16 May 1959

Lately, I've become accustomed to the way

The ground opens up and envelopes me

Each time I go out to walk the dog.

Or the broad edged silly music the wind

Makes when I run for a bus...

Things have come to that.

And now, each night I count the stars,

And each night I get the same number.

And when they will not come to be counted,

I count the holes they leave.

Nobody sings anymore.

And then last night, I tiptoed up

To my daughter's room and heard her

Talking to someone, and when I opened

The door, there was no one there...

Only she on her knees, peeking into

Her own clasped hands.

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I collect things. Records. CDs. Comics/graphic novels. Sneakers. Books. Figurines. DVDs. It is nice to know that I am not alone. Although I am not as extreme as some. I have also fully embraced streaming in all its forms. The film fans who refuse to surrender to streaming: ‘One day you’ll barter bread for our DVDs’.

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I just finished reading James Bridle’s Ways of Being which has had a profound effect on how I view the world and our (humans) place within it. There is so much doom and gloom in the world today, with climate change, prejudice and racism, war and violence, and the possible dire impact of technology, etc. But, as Bridle details in his book, there is another way, although it needs us (humans) to change the way we show up in the physical world.

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For whatever reason, I have never got into Steven Bartlett’s Diary of a CEO podcast. And then a friend shared the episode he had with Mo Gawdat. It is a conversation that requires a couple of listens but is what I needed to hear now.

I have added all of Gawdat’s books, starting with Solve For Happy, to my to-read list. I will probably also try give Bartlett a chance.

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When it comes to writing, I still enjoy putting ink directly on paper. The other thing I collect is fountain pens and my daily journaling always involves pen and ink. As a result, my fingers are often stained, as they were through high school. The one thing I don’t miss from high school is chalk and the blackboard but there are those who still see The Magic in the Blackboard.

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There is a new, interesting project that I was recently pulled into. As part of the conceptualisation phase, which we are in the middle of, we each created a playlist of 30 songs that have some type of significance in our lives. It was hard work deciding on 30 and there are so many other songs, but this is mine.

There is a story for each song in this playlist. I also have a song on here that is over an hour long.

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In the time since my last newsletter, have published about three episodes of the Listen To Your Footsteps podcast. It has taken being honest about the help I need and having a friend step in to take control of the things that I struggle with. I usually work solo but I am often reminded, when I actually listen, that one can go much further with collaboration.

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That’s it for today. Please share, subscribe and/or comment.

Also, check out my podcast and book Listen To Your Footsteps.

Easy

Kojo